Ethical dilemma

In nursing school we learned all about ethical issues surrounding nursing. At OSU I also took a medical ethics class as well. These past 2 days at work I actually got to experience a situation that involved an ethical dilemma and I just want to say that I don't like it! I took care of a 60 year old male who was in a car accident in which he had been drinking and suffered a closed head injury. He has already been in the hospital for about a month and was not making much progress. He apparently wasn't following commands and didn't even seem conscious, although he could move most of his extremities. When I started to care for him, his wife had decided to make him comfort care. This means that it was thought that his death was inevitable and we weren't going to do any extra measure to sustain his life. His tube feedings had been discontinued, we weren't taking vital signs or doing nursing assessments, and we weren't drawing any lab work. Basically we were trying to make him as comfortable as possible so that he could pass. My first night as his nurse, he squeezed my hand on command and wiggled his toes on command. I was sure to chart my findings and reported to the day nurse what he had done. That day his family met with the doctor, an ethics committee person, pastoral care, and a few other people to discuss his course of treatment once more. I was told by the day nurse that his wife wanted to continue with comfort care but the patient's mother and sister wanted to start feeding him again. It was ultimately decided to keep him on comfort care and transfer him to a nursing home. Last night as my patient, I was in his room and told him that my name was Brittany and I would be his nurse again that night. He very very softly whispered, "Hi, Brittany." I was in shock so I asked him to say that again. He repeated, "Hi, Brittany." I wasn't quite sure if I had heard right still because he didn't always follow commands and he hadn't spoken yet. I also wasn't sure if I just wanted him to be making improvements and was hearing what I wanted to. Later during my shift, I had a CNA in with me to help reposition him and I asked him to say hi. He did! I also asked him to say Brittany which he did also! He then stuck his tongue out on command, squeezed my hand, and wiggled his toes. I knew that he was still in there and it just broke my heart that we were literally starving him to death. When day shift came on, I took them into his room to try to get him to "show off" to the day nurse. The only commands that he followed was sticking out his tongue and wiggling his toes. I really wanted him to say something and after some persuading, he finally whispered "bye". I discussed him with the day nurse and deep down we both fear that nothing will change with his situation, despite these huge improvements. He can move all extremities well except for his left arm and I feel that if we start his tube feedings again to give him energy (he is literally skin and bones as he has been without food for over 4 days now), and he starts to be more consistent with following commands, he could start getting up with PT and make some sort of recovery. Apparently his wife said that he would not want a poor quality of life and wouldn't want to be kept alive with extra measures. Well, he is only 60 years old and is making big changes! I have seen patients on neuro who weren't expected to live and ended up walking out of the hospital. Sometimes it just takes time! Uhhhh! Unfortunately I have done all that I can do and this situation is out of my hands. All I can do is just pray for him and hope that he is given a chance.

*Update*
So at work last night, I saw that this patient had been discharged. I asked one of my coworkers what had happened with him. He said that he was this patient's nurse the night adter I was and that the doctor had seen my notes on his progress. He had discontinued the comfort care and restarted the tube feedings as well as other multidisciplinary therapies, such as PT, OT, and speech. PT apparently got him out of bed into a chair. Unfortunately, the patient was still inconsistent with demonstrating commands. The next day the doctor had another palliative care meeting with the family and said that although he could continue to slowly regain function, he would never be the same. The wife ultimately decided that if he was unable to return to work and function as he had prior to the accident, that he would not want to live that way. I believe that the patient was discharged once again on comfort care. This situation infuriates me so much. The point was that he was showing signs of improvement after a month of no progress. I can't believe that his family would give up on him so quickly. It is common to see families who want every intervention for their 90 year old mother who is actively dying, but not the reverse! I do feel like I made a difference in this patient's care although ultimately it was not enough to make a life saving difference.